The Power of Seconds

What a blast we had at the NLP Cafe this month! A great mix of people from many different walks of life and business came together for a fun evening of networking and state building. The energy was high and the room a buzz of conversation and laughter.

This snapshot demonstrates a New Code NLP process called ‘Walking with X and Y’ where you get to select two resourceful states you want in a future context. It’s great for building a confident state for presenting or public speaking, interviewing for a new job, writing exams and improving your performance in really any situation in your life.

Demonstrating a New Code NLP anchoring process

Demo’ing a New Code NLP process

My guest for the demo was Monika Thurn und Taxis, an actor and artist here in Winnipeg. Monika selected the two states of ‘confident and calm’ for performing in impromptu situations. The exercise takes about 15 minutes and works by physically anchoring two desired states into the body and mind. The next time Monika enters a situation where she does not have time to prepare – she is going to respond the way she wants – confident and calmin seconds!!

At the beginning of each NLP Cafe there is a networking exericse. The NLP Cafe is a great place to meet new people (some people come just for the networking – it’s that good!). And it’s when the group gets a chance to practice some rapport building skills.

Observing the group during the networking, I was pleasantly reminded of the ‘power of seconds’. What I mean is how in only seconds, people can shift from being fearful to friendly and having fun using simple yet powerful rapport building skills.

Rapport skills are a foundational set of skills coded in the original Classic Code field of NLP dating back to the early 1970’s which if you do the math, NLP has been on the planet for over 40 years! And yet I am still amazed to discover how many people are new to NLP concepts and techniques like building rapport or may have taken some NLP training and forget to use their rapport skills in everyday life.

Sign up for the Be Yourself Coach newsletter and recieve your free copy of ‘How To Get Rapport Quickly and How to Test It’.


“Lost time is never found again.” -Benjamin Franklin

So what does the power of seconds have to do with rapport and changing your state? Continue reading

Doing Things Better With Anita Roddick – A Personal Story

It’s International Women’s day on March 8th – a day of celebration and sharing of love towards women in recognition of their economic, political and social achievements. For my newsletter this week, I thought I’d write about a woman who was a role model for me starting out in my own business, Anita Roddick, founder of The Body Shop.

I met Anita personally on a trip she made to Winnipeg when I was Sales Manager for The Body Shop at Home. Anita had the ability to motivate others through her endearing stories and down to earth work ethics. She was a leader who paved new roads in the cosmetics industry, was the first to prohibit testing on animals, and to promote fair trade. Since Anita’s passing in 2007, hundreds of thousands of women around the world will continue to benefit from the business paths she carved. I certainly benefitted from her company and am grateful to have known her personally.

You can watch and listen to an earlier interview of Anita Here >>

Anita Roddick was a mentor and a model to thousands of women around the world. She demonstrated how a woman with an idea, a willingness to put themselves out there and the tenacity to carry on when things got tough could be successful in business. She modeled how to be a savvy entrepreneur while maintaining the basic human and community values that she felt were missing in the corporate world.

Working for The Body Shop for eight years was an experience that I will always cherish. Those years were a launch pad for starting my own business. In 1996 my husband Robin was transferred to the N.W. Ontario town of Rainy River, pop. 1,000. Situated on the south shore of Lake of the Woods we thought it would be a wonderful place to live. Making the move meant being brave and taking a big risk as I had to quit a secure corporate career. At the time, I had a head full of business ideas and saw the move as a huge opportunity to start my own business.

Practicing a kinder gentler way of doing business …. get the whole story by signing up my newsletter >>

Do All Leaders ‘Walk the Talk’ When It Comes To Interpersonal Skills?

Leaders with highly developed interpersonal skills and strengths are more apt to deliver better financial results according to recent research at Cornell University. This recent study points out that soft skills such as “self-awareness” can be the difference that makes the difference in being a model of excellence in business.

Is there a voice in your head asking HOW do the ‘best of the best’ leaders perform consistently, day in and day out? What’s their secret?

Most leaders will attend at least one personal development course each year. However, marketing practices in the personal development industry are like bottom trawling for fish. Both use non-selective methods, casting a wide net in an effort to ‘catch’ anything that moves. Fish have no choice in the matter. Humans on the other hand can decide whether they want to jump into the net or keep swimming.

Too many options means deciding which choice is better can be confusing. Most people say they find one good seed with each book, CD, seminar or executive coaching session. However unless that seed is planted really deep where self awareness resides there’s little chance of any new growth occurring.

What if the secret was as simple as self application? What if by becoming acutely aware of how your own body and mind works and using select interpersonal skills you could activate the performance you want to be an excellent leader? How helpful would it be if you could design an authentic self leadership plan that works?

Learning how to be more self aware and using techniques to activate the resources you need to act excellently in any situation can be the ‘difference that makes the difference’ in your performance. Finding tools and techniques that when applied to self – work, means no matter what the context you will have access to more resourceful states to perform ‘on the spot’ with excellence.

How soon do you want to make a quantum leap to learn to be self aware, discover your authentic self and utilize state management skills that work for you ‘on the spot’?

Be daring. Be first. Be different. Be self aware. ‘Be Your Self Leader’.

The Magic of Charisma

Like pure water, rich with rare minerals stored deep within a mountain’s core, the actor flows freely through the structures many caves, crevasses, and fissures and transforms into a nourishing river that delights all those that dare to dip their toe in!

Watch how some actors play their roles with incredible authenticity, that when you envision their past performance you see the character, not the actor. Feel the vibration of a premier dancer as she flows with grace on the stage, it’s like you’re dancing in unison on a spilling wave. Be so entranced by the sound of a master story teller’s voice and so deeply engaged in his story, your mind floats like a dream and time hangs suspended like a feather in the wind.

This is the magic of charisma, the unique and often indefinable characteristics of a person that others find immediately endearing and magnetic.

Consider the benefits charisma has for an actor, dancer or story teller to instantly charm their audiences with nothing other than their presence … the way their eyes see you … their unique mannerisms … their ability to suspend the sound of silence and capture your imagination. Why wouldn’t anyone not want to learn how they do what they do!

Researchers in the field of psychology say qualities like a happy disposition, poised physiology and an infectious personality are common traits of a charismatic person. If this is the case, it sounds too easy! We’d all be able to turn on the charm in a flash, wouldn’t we?

What about genetics? Can your family tree determine whether you are capable of developing charisma? Or, is it possible that anyone, at any age can easily learn to be charismatic?

Well, if you’re not a trained actor, and you weren’t born to parents that modeled charisma in your formative years, then how would you learn to be charismatic? Or if you are acting and haven’t yet found that star quality in your performance, do you wonder … what’s their secret?

While it’s true, charisma when measured up against technical skills and abilities is intangible, there is strong evidence to support the importance of developing charisma alongside other highly regarded intrapersonal skills such as emotional intelligence, self awareness, and authentic leadership.

Go search the latest job banks and you’ll find a growing number of employers are seeking candidates with highly developed ‘soft skills’ in their recruitment ads. One ad I saw recently for a national Marketing Manager listed ‘social butterfly’ at the top of the list of qualities for the position!

Your ability to be charismatic can lead to quicker engagement with your audience, a deeper connection with the people in your life and will differentiate you over your competition. Learning how to be charismatic could be a ‘magic’ skill that transports you to the other side of your dreams.

So now, you may be wondering…” Is it possible to learn how to be charismatic if I’m not already? Or, is charisma already in me and I just need to learn how to access it? ”

In my opinion – it’s both.

Knowing NLP, there are processes that can help you tap into your internal authentic energy stored within. Some people call this internal energy their ‘aura’. Guaranteed, everyone will have their own way of describing charisma.

This is mine: “Being charismatic is a ‘state of being’ accessed via an internal connection to your authentic self. When you discover your internal circuitry, put a new structure in place and learn how to access the connection, YOU ‘the actor’ can flow freely on life’s stage sending your charisma out to the external world.”

All in all, charisma is much more than being a happy person, having good posture or developing a charming personality. It’s the magic that means you stand out in the crowd. It’s you performing as the artist you aspire to be. It’s having an immediate and deep connection with your captive audience simply by being yourself.

It’s knowing who you are and what you want.

And, by knowing how to access your authentic charisma – You can be a star!

Jacqueline Nagy © 2011