In my business, I meet a lot of people who say they feel stuck. Some are men. Mostly they’re women. As a person fascinated with people I’ve noticed two common threads.
They’re on the precipice of something really, really BIG.
More importantly, they haven’t found a methodology that teaches them HOW to get unstuck – with long lasting staying power.
I’ve also noticed two shared characteristics. They’ve either experienced a tragedy or trauma and haven’t found a way to transition through the pain to the other side (that has staying power). Or they work in a vastly unfulfilling job mostly making other peoples’ dreams come true. They either want to break free, be an entrepreneur and start their own business. Or they’ve started their business and haven’t reached the level of success they desire.
Then I notice one of three things generally happen…
The people dealing with personal trauma give up looking. Despite their best efforts, they don’t find a fix that works long term. And without a fix to help them break through their pain so they can get to the other side, they switch their focus to looking for ways to distract themselves. Usually, these distractions are shallow solutions that feel good only for a short while. Some resort to substances and medication to dull their pain. Overall, they stay stuck.
The people wanting to be an entrepreneur also give up. Despite their best efforts to build their confidence, they shrink back into their comfort zone. They stay in their unfulfilling jobs working for someone else waiting in limbo for retirement.
“As long as a man stands in his own way, everything seems to be in his way.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson
Then there’s the third group. This is the group that fires me up!
These people do what holds other people back. They make a decision. And they embody their decision. Owning it with every cell in their body. They decide to take a risk; they decide to take action; they decide to do the work. Over some months, they transform themselves; and finally they put a plan in place to launch their dreams into action. Even if they don’t know whether their plans will work – they still do it! These are the people I have the privilege to celebrate their success with – YAY!
These are the people that align with their heart, reconnect with their body, and engage their creative mind.
Regardless of a person’s life history, I believe each and every person has huge potential. That everyone has a natural and unique talent they are exquisite at performing. Unfortunately, for many people, their talent is deeply hidden in their unconscious and their potential is largely untapped. At best many people are living a mediocre life. At worst, living behind a façade, lying to themselves every single day in an attempt to reconcile with the sense that something is missing in their lives. Many have given up searching for what that something is. If this is starting to sound a lot like your life, stay with me.
Maybe you are living the dream life. Excellent! However, if your hiding behind your ‘success’, secretly dreaming and wishing for a more meaningful life then you’re robbing yourself of living the life you deserve. A life where you can use your natural talents and make a huge impact in the world. If you don’t dare make a change to another profession your likely way, way too comfortable. Wearing the proverbial golden handcuffs! Maybe you don’t feel confident or resilient enough to take a risk. When I ask people who like you want to make an impact what they want, they either don’t know –or- they do know and they’re too afraid to take action.
If this is sounding even more like you and your life, you’ve most likely been seeking answers for quite some time. You probably have a cabinet filled with books and DVDs telling you WHAT you need to do and WHY you need to do it. After many years of searching, you may be feeling frustrated as you now realize what’s missing is that no one has ever shown you precisely HOW! If you’ve come to this realization – excellent! Stay with me.
After many years of personal trial and error, practice, reflection and more practice (yes, you guessed it – my hobby is self-development) I’ve concluded there are three usual suspects missing that can (and will) stop a person from living a truly authentic and holistic life. I believe these three things are critical to success in nearly every aspect of life. They are foundational – like a rock-bed supporting water in a stream.
My three key principles to living Your Dream Beyond the Dream…
- Learn HOW to get crystal clear on your highest intentions
- Learn HOW to hone your ability to manage your internal physical and emotional state
- Learn HOW to create a collaborative partnership with your deeper authentic self.
These three principles are simple in concept, and truthfully not necessarily easy. It takes dedicated practice to master these principles. End stop. The good news is once you learn HOW, you can gracefully coach yourself. Using these three key principles as your foundation you can perform the way you want in any situation.
Oh, and — there’s one more missing piece. Finding someone who will show you HOW to master these principles in real life situations! Not by listening to people talk about their success to hopefully inspire you. Not by writing down your goals. Not by reading a power-point slide presentation. Not by putting yourself through another personality assessment tool. And certainly NOT by letting others tell you to do what they do. Please, don’t do that.
By the way, I respect you trying any of these things to see if they work for you. I believe doing something is better than doing nothing. Everything is helpful even if it fails. As long as you don’t quit. However in my experience, learning the ‘what’ and the ‘why’ did not give me the type of practical tools for making enduring changes in my life.
If you want to live an authentic life it means living your life YOUR WAY in an ecological way that is also good for the other people important to you in your life. And this means working with a professional who you trust to show you HOW to define your ‘what do I want’ – uncover your uniqueness, and unleash your dreams. Someone who will show you HOW to get started and HOW stay motivated. Someone who will support you through the entire process of transformation – so you get it!
Without someone showing you how to master these foundations for life success, you may be destined to wasting your precious time watching videos online. Instead of searching for tangible practices that really work. When you’re not sharing your talents and living to your true potential you’ll continue to wander off piste.
I know. This was me!
For decades I was living someone else’s dream. Wasting time and investing in things that didn’t work. When I turned fifty, I finally decided to stop! Since then I have focused my attention on finding the missing pieces to living a happy, fulfilling life. When I finally found the tangible and practical tools I was looking for in the field of Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP) and began to practice these three key principles – my intention, my state and my partnership with my deeper self it was like a switch turned on, illuminating the future. My dream now resonates deep within every cell of my body. I feel the sense of authentic passion that I was seeking every single day. I am now living my Dream Beyond the Dream!
“There are far, far better things ahead than any we leave behind.” C.S. Lewis
By applying these practices myself I was able to discover my natural talent of teaching and coaching others to success. Talents which had been tucked deep inside for 45 years ~ Yikes! Using NLP I was able to put a plan in place to start my own business and fulfill my dreams – not the dreams of others.
It didn’t happen overnight. Many times, I asked myself, “Was now the time to take a risk? Do I have the resilience to stay the course?” A voice in my head would shout, “Yes – do it! What have you got to lose?” Then doubtful feelings would settle in. My inner voice kept shouting, “Yes! If not now – when?”
I finally decided to take a risk into the unknown. I went on a search for the missing pieces. With the support of a brilliant team of trainers, coaches and mentors you can learn to do what I do… how to gracefully coach yourself. With a tool box filled with a wealth of tangible practices I began to take action. With each step I became more confident. More congruent. More resilient. I now know what I want. And most importantly I have the tools and know HOW to implement them.
In addition to my key principles to living Your Dream Beyond the Dream there are two more things I want you to practice doing every single day….
Focus on these two things every day!
Jacquie Nagy is a Professional Speaker, Certified Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP) International New Code NLP TRAINER & Coach, Certified Adult Educator (CAE), Art of Feminine Presence™ Teacher, founder Holistic Directions Inc. (2008) and creator Holistic Self-Coaching™. Jacquie offers personal and professional development workshops, NLP Certification courses and classes and 1:1 private coaching and mentoring for individuals and entrepreneurs internationally and in her home city of Winnipeg, MB, Canada. You can find out more about her speaking, coaching and training services at http://www.holisticdirections.com
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